Ted's Diary
written by Amen Ra (Ted) The Alpaca of Distinction

Thursday 22nd June.    The BOSS has been telling me that she and ‘Other Half’ went out Sunday afternoon to a Guide Dogs for the Blind Garden Party.  BOSS was very good and explained exactly what a garden party was and how the dogs help blind humans.  What I want to know is; who helps blind dogs?  Could there be an opportunity here for an enterprising alpaca?  Guide Alpacas for Blind Dogs – sounds good, don’t you think.  Someone has to look after them, and we do make good  ‘guard dogs’ - I mean ‘guard alpacas’ for sheep, so we can do some of the jobs that dogs do, even better than they can.  We don’t need to go for walks – mind you I do enjoy a stroll around the farm on my halter once in a while.  We don’t need to be fed tinned food, we just nibble the grass we stand on!  I think we, as alpacas, need to give this dog verses alpaca business some thought! ‘Sniffer’ alpacas, maybe! ‘Rescue’ alpacas! Wecould herd sheep, - if we wanted to, that is! Just don't go telling me to "Come Bye" or "Go Bye" or whatever it is. We do have SOME pride, you know, you'd just have to have a discussion with us, and we'd help you decide how best to move your sheep around! Ah well!  where is that dust bath...... all this thinking makes me quite warm.

 We had a visit from the V E T today. She's a nice lady, especially if she stays away from me! This time she had a young "Work Experience" friend with her, I liked her, too. She showed the proper appreciation for me (and the rest of the herd, of course), but she really liked my varied colours, that shows real taste!

After she had gone, BOSS and Other Half put Alex on his halter, and - you'd never guess - they took him into the catch pen WITH MY MOTHER! and my half sister! Ha! Ha! He got spat at! Right in the face! My mum really knows how to tell a young upstart like him "Thanks, but No Thanks!".  But Boadie....... WHAT a Hussey! I mean, you'd think she had never seen a macho alpaca before! Lying there in the dust, worshipping at his feet! It was just as well the BOSS had him on a halter or Alex would have ended up my Brother-in-Law!