Ted's Diary
written by Amen Ra (Ted) The Alpaca of Distinction

Thursday 13th July.  I've been on guard all week, - so far NO foxes or badgers. I had a chat last night with a very smelly creature calling himself Wiley. He looked a bit like a brown dog with a bushy tail, and even though we'd just met, he agreed to let me know if any foxes came into the field, even if they were being sneaky and not wearing sox (see yesterday's Diary Page). Apparently foxes are well known for lying and fooling you, or so my new friend said. It'll be a poor day when they can fool me, let me tell you!

We need security around here, Betsy is due to have her cria (baby) any day now, and I just know that everyone relies on me, being an Alpaca of Distinction, and all. I've been trying to organise Fred, Alex, and the boys into a group for herd protection - I think I'll call it something catchy.....  Umm...... What about a "Security With Alpacas Together" Team, we could call ourselves by the initials - the S.W.A.T. team. Sounds good, doesn't it - we'd better use the name before someone else thinks of it.

I've explained this security thing to Fred loads of times, but he still hasn't got it right - just because the fox picture the BOSS gave me is small, Fred thinks foxes must be small! Now he thinks they might sneak in UNDER the wire, so he's crawling about looking for low level intruders! Oh, well, at least he's trying to help, which is more than can be said for Mr High and Mighty Alex! He's only interested in Bodie! Mind you, she is pretty appealing.

The BOSS still won't let me have any wire cutters to get out of the field, so if I see anything I'll let out my battle cry - Other Half says it sounds like a manic donkey, whatever that is! He says it's a compliment - I'm not so sure, I noticed him sniggering behind his hand when he told me, and that's not a good sign.

I must be doing something right - both the BOSS and Other Half keep coming up to me and saying what a good boy I am. I mean, - I know that!  But why do they keep looking at my "Under bits"? And who is this "Special Visitor" that's coming to see me next week? Just me. But that's only natural, isn't it? I AM special. Will you STOP looking at my "Bits"!