Ted's Diary
written by Amen Ra (Ted) The Alpaca of Distinction

Saturday, 4th March: Never a dull moment round here, it must be the weather, all this sunshine. Nail trimming again. My turn I think! No Blue Bag, they think they can fool me, but I know what the BOSS has got behind her back!

Ok, the kids are watching – make the right impression boy! I sauntered into the catch-pen, let them chase me around a bit. It makes the whole operation more fun! I let them catch me, but just as the BOSS caught hold of my back leg I decided to lift up one of my front ones – that caught her off balance, and me a bit! Now how could I make this more interesting? Suddenly it came to me – lift all my feet of the ground at once!

That threw THEM and caused a bit of confusion. Remembering the kids were watching, I felt they had been entertained long enough, so I let BOSS have her way and gave in gracefully – it paid off as the job was finished quickly, she said I was a good boy after all. However, the down side of all this – I had to suffer being kissed and cuddled! Yech! And in front of the kids! Well I suppose that's life when you are an "Alpaca of Distinction".

Monday 6th March: The sun is shining and all is right with the world – for me that is! There seems to be a bit of a fuss up in the middle catch-pen. A few moments ago the Ladies were herded up, ready to go into the top field for some munchies when the BOSS and her other half shut the gate on them, very deftly, I must say, keeping just the two young girls in the pen.

I knew things were not going so well when the Blue Bag appeared, yet again! Poor kids! Now that Jet ( she’s got really sexy legs ) was quite well behaved while she had her nails clipped, but I caught the look in her eyes when she saw the needle!

‘Look on the bright side, kid,’ I said to her, ‘remember when they put the microchip in! Boy, Did that smart!’ but instead of taking heart at my words, she started to really struggle, somehow I don’t think I reassured her at all.

I tried again. ‘Look, Sexy Legs, A,D&E jabs are part of growing up, its for your own good.’ I smiled at her over the fence, just as she felt the needle go in – well would you believe it, not even a flinch. Just like a women, all that fuss about nothing!

Did she thank me for my kind interest? not on your life; she gave me a haughty stare and skipped off to find the others.

Women! I will never understand them!