Ted's Diary
written by Amen Ra (Ted) The Alpaca of Distinction

Friday July 21st.  The VET, Tessa, came today.  To see me.  She brought a helper, and the BOSS and Other Half brought their friend Geraldine to lend a hand. They all ganged up on me, and gave me an injection which made me feel VERY strange. Friend Geraldine started to look extremely attractive, but rejected all my advances. Things got really fuzzy for a while, but I think at one point I got a cuddle from sexy Geraldine.

Then whatever happened was all over, and the BOSS cuddled me! and kissed me! Yuk!  Everyone said I was a good boy, and my Geraldine said I was handsome - but of course I am! (I think Geraldine's pretty, too! Not bad for a creature with only two legs!)  They all admired my fleece and my distinctive colouring, and what a cool, chilled out guy I am - well an alpaca can take only so much praise and admiration!  "How much?"  I hear you ask?  Oh, much more than you would think! 

After all this kissing, cuddling and lavish praise I was left in my paddock to rest under my brand new shelter - they call it a gazebo, apparently ALL thecelebs have one.  I felt a little strange for a while, a bit spaced out - now I know what Fred feels like - he's always spaced out!

I heard the Boss talking to the VET;  it seems that in a few weeks I shall lose interest in the GIRLS.  Oh, they think so do they!   Me? lose interest in GIRLS?  No chance!  Where's that Boadie?  Whoops - sister - must remember that!  Well, time for some shut-eye now, maybe this strange soreness will wear off by the time I wake up.