Ted's Diary
written by Amen Ra (Ted) The Alpaca of Distinction 

September 16 2007  from Poole Farm, Bridford, on the edge of Dartmoor.

Hi Everybody, its your old mate Ted here. I think we are having summer now; it is warm and dry, nearly all our babies have been born, except Jody’s – any minute now!

I enjoy watching the young ones racing around and playing, it reminds me of my youth - I had my 3rd birthday a few weeks ago, Yes, I really am 3 years old, and what an exciting life I have had so far – it is probably time for me to write my first Autobiography.

Ted - as Zorro

Click HERE to read that Diary page

All famous people do that, you know, so why not the MOST famous alpaca?

Okay, I haven’t achieved every goal I set – not too successful as Zorro ( the mask was good, but it's difficult to control a cape with no hands!) The SWAT team was not as well supported as I would have liked – blame Fred for that! No one took up the Alpaca Mud Skis idea – but there is still time – winter is just around the corner, and there are definitely more hills around here than at my last location! And I have been told LOTS more rain! Oh, and I have never been invited to a BBQ on the beach, despite all the hints! Mind you I have been told that a lot of alpacas live to be 20 years old, so there is plenty of time for all my plans and schemes to work out. I have worked on the latest one very hard and I do believe it has really worked, - more of that next week!

One of Alex's 2007 daughters; - at Chase End Alpacas

It’s a shame about this foot and mouth thing again, not that I had any plans to go anywhere, but I shall miss the visitors, and I am sure they will all miss ME. Being an alpaca I don’t know much about foot and mouth – I can put my foot in my ear, but that is about as far as it goes. I don’t like the idea of disinfectant baths - in fact I don’t like the idea of any bath. And as for disinfected straw mats, better not try that with MY hay! And if they think I am going to twiddle my feet in pink water before I go for a walk I shall stay in my paddock for the duration – no twiddling for me!

The BOSS and Other Half went to see Joe and Ann Hempsey at Chase End Alpacas last week and took some lovely photos of Alexander’s other daughter, Chestnut. Apparently she looks just like him except she is dark fawn, has a pretty white face, is a lot smaller and of course she’s a GIRL – Okay, so she is NOT so much like him! BOSS said she had his eyes and his ‘presence’, with a lovely fleece.

BOSS is coming down next Friday to see us all as it's her birthday – she didn’t say how old she is, but I know she’s a lot older than ME!

Bye bye for now,
I'll let you know how the BOSS's visit goes,

love, Ted  
X X X X 

Click HERE to read about Ted's Mud Skis
Click HERE to read about Ted's Zorro impression
Click HERE to read about Ted's SWAT team

September 21st  Have you ever thought what it would be like to be a birthday present?

No! this is not your pal Ted just waffling – I really was a birthday present today!  It is BOSS’s birthday, I am not allowed to tell you which one, but it is quite a high number Other Half says!  That must mean she is more than ten - that's middle age for an alpaca, anyway.

Because BOSS has missed me so much, Other Half bought me back from M&M as a surprise birthday present – actually the only one surprised was ME.  No one could keep the secret, so she knew all about it.  I’m always the last to know things around here! 

Fortunately they all decided that a bow and wrapping paper where not a good idea – not really a big fan of all that sort of thing, me - a bit over the top even for yours truly (and sticky tape really spoils the fleece!) Mind you it was a nice warm day, so when asked I joined them all for a walk around the farm on my halter  saying "Hello" to all my friends and generally showing off – the sort of thing I do best.

Apparently Other Half made a bid for me just in the nick of time as several people have been trying to buy me – I’m glad they didn‘t succeed - I  really like it down here, and here I’m going to stay! 

Of course we still have this Foot and Mouth problem, not down here in Devon, but we still have all the bio-security you could ask for.  I can assure you our Bios are VERY secure! And our visitors are most careful to ensure they stay that way! 

As you can see from the photos this week BOSS is VERY happy to have me back, and I am VERY happy to be back – although I’m not too sure that I have been anywhere – all this celebrating must be going to my head (and I didn’t get any of the bubbly, or a special meal out at the pub like the BOSS did – in fact I have NEVER been to the pub).  Now as soon as all this fuss is over that is something we shall have to change!  I must have a word with my carers Mike and Mark - they like a challenge!

P.S. More good news! Other Half has a new job – he is going to be a postman! Now that leads me to say.....  No!- BOSS says that there have been enough references to black cats and singing postman – but a DO think a black and white alpaca could really improve a postman’s image.  ‘Postman Paul, Postman Paul and his black and white alpaca.’  Okay it doesn’t rhyme, but then I can’t sing either!

Oh, Happy Birthday BOSS, Luv you lots and see you again very soon, I hope

PPS all the guys and gals here say Happy Birthday too.XXX

September 30th  What with FMD restrictions and the BAW (that's Bl***y (very) Awful Weather), things are a bit slow here in Devon, so I have arranged some fun and games for the youngsters. 

I have explained before about the set up down here – probably similar to other alpaca farms – we have an area that connects all our paddocks called a ‘race’ - a sort of fenced off runway, and ours is downhill!  So I figured, if it's CALLED a Race, then that's what we should use it for!

This has led me to consider various options for "running about" games. 
First we will have two teams - the RAC and the AA.
To decide which side wins Mike has offered to wave a Green Flag.  The youngsters are going to form the RAC – the Racing Alpaca Crew, and Chris, Augustus, King and ME are the Athletic Alpacas. 

The object of the game is to cause as much mayhem as possible – as usual – when Mike and Mark come out to make us change paddocks.  Hopefully it will be raining, and then it will be even greater fun – M&M slide about everywhere trying to catch the babies as they ‘race’ up and down the race, while we cheer them on – and then once they have been gathered up by their exasperated mothers – it's our turn! 

Our mothers are too busy whizzing about after their other kids to care what we do (Mine’s hundreds of miles away in Essex anyway). Of course we are bigger and cleverer, especially me, and can I run fast or what?  They don't call me "Flash" for nothing! In fact, they don't call me that, - but they should!

Anyway, you guessed it!  The AA won, we made better time in the bad weather and got the job done –covered M&M in mud!  Of course the RAC lot were a bit more considerate to their mothers, and behaved very well, in the end.  Still, it was the Green Flag for us LADS, and a round of applause from the stud paddocks – now if you believe THAT you will believe anything! 

Bye for now.  Oh by the way, I’m doing my bit to be vigilant checking for blue tongue – I’m training the babies to say ‘Ah!’ ready for the inspections!

love, Ted  
X X X X 

PS (Just to keep it fair;) We won't need any Europ Assist(ance) to stop a National Breakdown here - Hey! did you know there's someone called GEM Motoring Assist? Do you suppose that's what we use to pull the trailer when we go to shows? Of course I always have to travel by Smart Car, because of my fantastic looks!