Ted's Diary
                    written by Amen Ra (Ted) The Alpaca of Distinction 

July 2007 What a lovely day – BOSS and Other half came to see us today and I got lots of cuddles and a really long photo session, so watch this space! BOSS really misses me and kept telling me how handsome I was and asking me lots of questions.  Eventually her attention wandered, and Charm was in the cuddling line – now there is a gorgeous alpaca! Mind you I think we only got all this attention because Alex is still back at Laurel Farm with my friend Geraldine, - when he’s about nobody else gets a look in!

Today is sunny and warm, but boy, have we had some rain! I don’t really understand this weather business - I could have sworn that the BOSS explained all this last year – THIS IS SUMMER – tennis, seaside, holidays, long warm days with SUNSHINE – the key word here I think is TENNIS - if it's Wimbeldon it has to rain, or maybe holidays, especially down here in Devon.  When all those lucky humans get out their caravans and tents, put on their swim suits it has just got to rain! So whose fault is it – NOT MINE, I don’t even own a swimsuit (do alpacas swim?). As you have probably noticed, mostly if things go wrong it’s yours truly to blame! But not in this case – weather is not what I do best! Oh, am I on top form – weather! Get it - me a wether! Okay, okay! Hay, now there’s something else! I like hay, have I mentioned this before? But even an Alpaca of Distinction can get fed up with WET hay. When you have as much rain as we do on Dartmoor not even these wonderful hayboxes Mark has made keep ALL the hay dry.

Mark is always inventing things and making things, which brings me to MY shelter!  I have a lovely new shelter in MY paddock  - actually I share it with Barnaby and Ebony at the moment but I am the eldest and it was ME who complained about not having a shelter, wasn’t it – ergo – MY shelter!  It’s great, only snag is; when I go in to it to keep dry I can’t see what’s going on around the farm.

Barnaby says that some alpacas are never satisfied, I say that some alpacas will put up with just anything, but An Alpaca of Distinction deserves the best – am I right? Or am I right!

There is never a dull moment round here.  Have I told you about the pigs! Yeah, that’s right - PIGS.  Now there’s a strange thing, round with very short legs, a bit smelly and very noisy and they eat more than I do! Mike told me they are Kune Kune pigs; pretty but rather daft I think – not Mike! The pigs!

Entertainment we are not short of here.  When Mark goes into feed Ginger and Pickle, the little pigs, all eyes are glued to the pig pen! I’m not sure who is chasing who. And how undignified rolling around in the mud. Wouldn’t catch an alpaca doing that!

Well it gives me something else to watch – you can get very tired of baby sitting, you know.  Do you know what these kids call me?  NANNY TED! I ask you? Do I look like a goat – um, well now you mention it.  My days are so busy - I have to keep an eye on these youngsters every minute, as well as eat, and watch the geese, and eat, and watch the pigs, and eat, and watch the GIRLS, and eat, and be ready to give a warning to Mike and Mark if a fox, badger or human visitor arrive, and all the while eat.

Whilst The Big Guy is away on his hols I am the Boss Alpaca!  I did try and tell Ivory the other day, but because he has started his stud duties (you need to ask Charm about that!) he seems to think otherwise. Boy, is he in for a shock when the Lad Himself comes back!

Talking of stud work, that Barnaby is waiting his turn and boy, is he impatient !  He did so want to visit Charm, but as I explained to him she is his half sister and that just does not work! There are rules outthere, kiddo and even an alpaca has to behave himself.  I think that he may have chance with Conker, now she is a bit on the older side, but she has experience, and is quite a looker, she is due to have her cria next month.  Mind you, I don’t think he knows about Ebony, the new boy – there is some real competition! I heard Mark saying that this lad was destined to visit at least three of the lovely ladies in the opposite paddock – doesn’t leave much for our Barnaby. I put my money on the two young fawn beauties. I try to hear what Mike and Mark say when they come out here and discuss all these matters, but I get a little confused, I think they do too at times!  So many beautiful girls and handsome guys to match up – just think of all those babies next summer, and me NANNY TED  - oh, boy! 

Did I tell you I think I’m going on holiday next summer, so someone else can have the pleasure of baby sitting!

Bye for now, I'll write again soon,

Luv

Ted X X X X